Love Means Learning How to Protect Your Grandkids (and Yourself) Online

There were no smartphones when you were raising kids. No group chats to monitor. No YouTube wormholes. No having to explain why an app designed for dance videos is now showing ten-year-olds content about war, sex, and self-harm. You parented in a world where you could see the danger coming. Where you knew the names of the kids your child played with. Where the front door locked and that meant something.

But that’s not the world your grandkids are growing up in.

And here’s the hard part you are still one of their protectors. Which means you need to understand their world when online and off is just "life". Yes... you’re still in it. Every school holiday, every birthday visit, every moment you reach for your phone to capture a memory you're shaping their digital world as well.

It can happen in seconds. All the cousins come over. One has a phone. Others don't. You hear laughter, maybe a silly voice filter, maybe a dog video. It seems innocent. It seems fine. What you don’t see is the next swipe. Because the algorithm doesn’t care that your grandchild is only seven.It doesn’t care that you had no idea what “For You Page” meant. The internet doesn’t wait for understanding. And by the time you’re wondering whether it’s appropriate, the content has already done its damage.

This is not about being afraid of technology.This is about putting boundaries around it.

When a child enters your home, and a device comes with them, you have a right and a responsibility to set rules. Ask that phones stay off during visits. Keep screens in shared spaces. Don’t assume “funny videos” are always safe. Because they're not.

Privacy Is Not Paranoia. It’s Protection.

Let’s talk about your social media. It seems like a beautiful thing, sharing moments with friends, showing off a proud photo of your grandchild’s dance recital, or that sweet smile in their school uniform. But here’s what’s really happening when your account is public:

You are handing strangers a scrapbook of your grandchild’s life.

Their name. Their school. Their location. Their birthday. What days they’re at your house.

Predators don’t need much more. Identity thieves need even less. And that harmless snap you uploaded to Facebook could be used in ways you can’t imagine.

So here’s the simplest set of rules: 1. Set your accounts to private. 2. Think before you post. 3. Never share photos with other people’s children/grandchildren in them especially at school event. Even if they’re in the background. Even if you know them. Even if it seems harmless. Other families may have serious legal, cultural, or safety reasons for keeping their kids offline. You don’t need to understand it to respect it.

Your Curiosity Could Be a Lifeline

Your grandkids might show you things that seem strange. A meme you don’t get. A game that feels chaotic. A TikTok that makes your stomach turn. This is not the moment to say, “I don’t understand that stuff.” This is the moment to lean in.

Ask: “Can you show me how that works?” Ask: “Who are you talking to when you play that game?” Ask: “What do you do when something scary comes up?” Just keep asking!!

You don’t need to be tech-savvy, you just need to be present. Kids aren’t looking for safety and boundaries, not experts. And if you freeze up or shut down the moment something digital comes into the room, they’ll stop coming to you. Not because they don’t trust you, but because they don’t want to overwhelm you. Let them teach you. Show them you’re listening. Curiosity builds connection, and connection builds safety.

Support the Parents.....Even When You Don’t Fully Get It

Maybe you think the rules are too strict. Maybe you’d rather be the “fun” one. Maybe you think “just one game” or “just a little screen time” doesn’t hurt. If a parent has set limits on screen time, apps, or device use, your job is to support them not sabotage them. When you say things like, “It’s just for today,” or“You can use mine just don’t tell Mum,” you’re not being generous. You’re teaching that rules are flexible when adults want to be liked. That secrets are okay if they’re fun. And that consequences only exist until someone nicer comes along. Kids don’t need that confusion they need consistency.

Five Digital House Rules Every Home Should Have

Whether it’s a weekend visit or the school holidays, here’s how to create a safe, healthy digital environment in your home:

1. No devices behind closed doors or in bedrooms...ever.

2. No screens at the dinner table or before bed

3. One screen, one app, no jumping between tabs and chats

4. Check in often. Ask what they’re doing, who they’re playing with

5. If something goes wrong, stay calm. Say “Thank you for telling me. Let's figure it out together.” ​

And If You Get It Wrong?

You post a photo you shouldn’t have, you let them watch something too mature. You don’t notice a message that seems off.It happens. Don’t spiral into shame and don’t disappear, instead say: “I got that wrong. I’m still learning.”“ "Thank you for telling me.” "I care enough to do better next time.”

That is what digital grand parenting looks like. Not knowing everything, but refusing to opt out. Staying in the room, staying in the conversation and staying aware.

Because love, now, looks different.

Love today means locking down your phone before handing it to a child.It means not sharing that school photo without permission.It means asking awkward questions and learning unfamiliar things.It means protecting their future by understanding their present. The internet won’t slow down. The world won’t get simpler. But you?You can be the steady one. The safe one. The one who shows up again and again. Because that’s what love looks like now and your grandkids are counting on it.