Boys aren’t just watching it. They’re producing it. Yes....that.

Not with cameras or with consent. But with screenshots, casual photos, AI, and the faces of real girls they know. This isn’t about looking at the plethora of pornography sites on the net a click away. It’s about making it, manipulating it, reshaping what used to be an innocent image into something sexualised, that objectifies and is completely non-consensual.

And no, it’s not happening in the deep web or some sketchy Reddit 18+ forum. It’s happening on school buses, screenshots taking in class group chats, on Snapchat threads that should have vanished in 24 hours. In the pockets of children with fully charged smartphones and zero accountability...............There’s another siren going off and too many adults are still not hearing it.

Now before the default defence kicks in“My son would never…or not all boys” let’s pause. Because that sentence is doing more damage than you think. This isn’t about criminal intent or about "bad" children.

Boys don’t need to be tech-savvy or malicious they have the perfect storm. Curiosity, easy access, shaky impulse control, peer pressure, raging hormones, and a few public photos of someone they know—someone they follow online, sit next to in maths, or see on the bus. Add powerful digital tools and a culture where adults stopped paying attention, or understanding what is really going on and what you get is the collision of underdeveloped brains with unchecked power.That’s all it takes. That's all it takes to create a private folder, generate a deepfake, or drop an image into an AI tool that does the rest.

It’s happening because we’ve allowed children to be raised in our absence, often while we are in the same room. Not because we didn’t care or because we don’t love them. But because fifteen years ago, when we first started handing smartphones to kids, the warnings were inconvenient. When those of us working in the field were screaming from every rooftop said “wait" we were dismissed as alarmists. When we begged parents to delay tech until kids had a solid sense of the self-worth, resilience, and critical thinking skills, we were told "everyone else’s kid had one" it was “just how things are now.” And so the phones went in the hands, the boundaries went out the window, and now we’re here.What we thought we were giving them was social connection. What we actually gave them was unchecked power. What we thought would teach responsibility ended up teaching objectification, manipulation, and quiet exploitation because that’s what’s rewarded in some online culture.

I was talking to my partner about this, and I explained to him I’ve been watching this rot grow since the beginning of the net. When I first started in the tech industry, the internet was new, it was flipping our green-screen terminals into digital playgrounds, and I remember thinking, “This is going to be a legal Wild West.” And I was right. As one of the very few women in the room, I’d get “accidentally” cc’d on internal email chains one I clearly recall was called "Tasty Tuesday Treats" a collection of voyeur-style images of women photographed without consent, (it would be labelled "caught lacking" now). Images of women sunbathing topless or walking the beach in their G-strings. One of those photos was of a friend of mine, taken on the beach in my hometown Byron Bay. I was working in Sydney. She would have had no idea she was being watched, captured, passed around digitally. That was the moment something in me snapped. Not long after, a very loud, very straight to the point 25-year-old version of me (some things don't change) called that shit out—loud.

The company scrambled and brought in a tool called Pornsweeper  it could tell with 95% accuracy whether pictures circulated via email were pornographic or not, enabling those pictures to be blocked. It measured skin tone and amounts of skin shown percentages and designed to block this kind of crap on the corporate network. That was the mid 90s. If it could be stopped then, with clunky old software and dial-up speeds why the hell are we still pretending we’re powerless now? The only thing that’s changed is the scale and the silence. It’s more automated. More invisible. More acceptable. But the exploitation? Still thriving, normalised swept under the digital rug.

So no, parents, we don’t get to be shocked anymore. We need to be informed. This starts early, and it escalates fast.

Here is how it may happen:

A boy sees a girl on the bus, snaps a quick photo without her knowing.

A classmate sends a disappearing Snapchat.

He screenshots her Instagram story.

He zooms in on a group photo and crops the rest out just her.

At first it feels like a crush.

But this isn’t admiration it’s documentation.

And it doesn’t stop at one photo.

It turns into secret albums in Google Drive.

Private folders saved under innocent names.

Collections labelled “Wifey,” “Caught Lacking,” “Smash or Pass,” “The Vault,” or worse.

Sometimes they’re just saving images.

Other times, they’re ranking girls.

Rating them.

Trading folders with friends like it’s a game.

These aren’t strangers.

These are girls they go to school with.

Sometimes girls they’ve never even spoken to.

And yes, there are AI-generated nudes.

Yes, there are deepfakes. A

And no, the girls almost never know it’s happening until it leaks.

Until someone talks.

Until it’s already done.

Parents, you need to know this. The images aren’t always sexual to start with. They’re often just normal photos. A class picture. A TikTok dance. A selfie. But once they’re taken, saved, or shared without consent, the context doesn’t matter anymore. The intent is what matters. These images become currency. A twisted kind of social capital that feeds ego, status, and group validation.

And here’s the part that hits hardest this isn’t even rare anymore. It’s becoming normalised. Boys don’t even recognise it as harmful, because the culture around them keeps telling them it’s funny, harmless, even flattering. And because the girls have posted this, well that is like that old excuse of wearing a short skirt or she wanted it. That’s what happens when silence fills the gaps. Let’s stop pretending this is a fringe issue. It’s not. This is systemic, embedded in everyday tech, and being fuelled by tools they’re not equipped to handle. AI apps. Vault apps. Hidden folders. Discord groups. Cloud backups disguised as “Math Notes.” This isn’t sci-fi. It’s right now.

This is about broken systems, unchecked platforms, and a generation growing up without digital guardrails. They’re learning from TikTok, Reddit, and porn subcultures because no one at home is having the conversation. No one is disrupting the cycle.

If you’re reading this and your instinct is to get defensive or to feel ashamed you’re not alone. And you’re not a bad parent. Some of the most passionate voices in this space right now are from parents who got it wrong. Parents who gave the phone too early. Who missed the signs. Who trusted that everything would be okay… until it wasn’t. They live with that pain. With the fallout. With the guilt. And now, they’re speaking up not out of judgment, but out of love. Out of urgency. Their words might sound intense, even harsh. But underneath, there’s a broken heart and a fierce hope that maybe they can help someone else avoid the same regret. Their message is about trying to protect kids before the damage is done. It’s heart-centred, even when it comes off a little full-on. Please, listen not to be shamed, but to be supported by people who wish someone had shaken them hard enough to make them hear. Now they’re trying to be that voice for you. Hear them.

We can’t go back. But we can speak up. We can interrupt this cycle. We can start the conversation, even if it’s uncomfortable.

Here’s what you can do:

Start with simple chats. At the dinner table, in the car, on a walk. Not lectures just honest talk. Say things like:

• “Have you ever seen something online that made you feel weird or unsure?”

• “Do your friends talk about taking screenshots or saving people’s photos? How do you feel about that?”
  

Be Curious, Not Controlling.

This isn’t about snooping through their phones at night. It’s about being present. Involved.

Know what apps they’re using and how.Ask them to teach you. Sit beside them when they’re scrolling.Show interest, not interrogation. You’re not just checking up—you’re showing up.

Teach That Consent Isn’t Just Physical It’s Digital Too

We teach our kids not to touch others without permission. The same goes for images.

A photo, a story, a post it still belongs to the person in it.Saving it, editing it, or sharing it without asking?That’s not “just being funny.” It’s a form of harm. Make it real for them “Imagine someone did that to a photo of you. How would that feel?”

Help Boys Understand Respect Beyond Rules

This isn’t about punishing boys it’s about giving them better tools.Many boys don’t mean harm. They’re copying what they see, chasing peer approval, or just not thinking it through.

So let’s show them:

• Real confidence doesn’t come from mocking others.

• Real mates don’t trade photos they protect a female friends dignity.

• Real power is using tech to be kind, not cruel.
  

Talk to them about how to be a safe place not just how to avoid getting in trouble.

Know What the Digital “Red Flags” Look Like

Today’s hidden folders aren’t under the bed they’re in calculator apps and cloud drives.

Things to look out for:

• Vault apps disguised as boring utilities

• Folders named “Math Notes” or “Don’t Open”

• Google Drives or Discord groups used like private galleries
  

It’s not about assuming the worst it’s about being one step ahead. Quietly informed. Calmly ready.

Model the Values You Want Them to Learn

Kids mirror what they see, not what we say.If we gossip using screenshots, or post family photos without asking, they pick up the message that boundaries are optional.

Model consent in everyday life:

• “Can I post this photo of you?”

• “That video doesn’t sit right with me what do you think?”
  

We can’t ask our kids to act with respect if we’re careless ourselves.

Create a Home Where Telling the Truth Feels Safe

Your child might mess up. They might be sent something awful. They might even take part in something they don’t understand. What they need is to know they can come to you. No explosions. No shame.Just love, boundaries, and guidance.

Let them know “You’ll never be in trouble for telling me the truth. Ever.”

That safety net might be the one thing that stops something from going too far.

Because the truth is brutal, but it’s also necessary. This isn’t just what they’re watching, It's not sneaking a sealed magazine. It’s what they’re making in secret. And the only way it stops is if we stop being scared to talk.

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Here is a glossary of the things you may want to know more about:

THE FILING SYSTEM

“Wifey” It’s used to label girls a boy is especially obsessed with, attracted to, or sees as “girlfriend material.” But in reality, it often includes curated photos of the girl (or girls) he’s sexualising, without her knowledge. This is about possession, not affection.

“Caught Lacking” This means the girl was photographed without knowing, often in unflattering or vulnerable moments slouched in class, eating, bending over, laughing.“Lacking” implies she wasn’t “on guard” or “looking her best.” The whole point is mockery and power “I got this pic of you, and you don’t even know.”

“Favourites” / “Faves”

A ranking system.Photos of girls sorted by personal preference like a playlist of people.Some folders even include scores, comments, or emoji ratings (🔥, ❤️, 😍).It’s gamifying attraction and turning real girls into a scrollable, ranked feed.

“Smash or Pass”

Straight from hookup culture.Often used for group chats or shared folders, this one refers to rating girls as sexually desirable or not, based solely on looks. It’s rarely private. It’s part of a collective game where boys vote, share, and judge together. The girls almost never know it’s happening.

“The Vault”

Sounds cool. But it’s where the worst stuff goes.This is usually a locked or hidden folder (sometimes in a disguised calculator app) where boys save:

• The most revealing screenshots

• Edited or AI-generated images

• Possibly even deepfakes or non-consensual nudes in sexual poses. It’s secret, curated, and intentionally hidden.
  

“Private” / “Don’t Open” / “Math Notes”

Disguises. These folders exist to fool parents, teachers, or anyone who might casually look.They’re made to seem boring or innocent, but inside is where they hide sexualised content.This is deception by design and it works, unless you know what to look for.

“Hot List” / “Baddies Only” / “Thirst Traps”

These are blatantly sexualised folders. Usually pulled from social media bikini photos, mirror selfies, dancing videos, or filtered pics that are totally public, but still used without consent. It’s a warped version of admiration, but it’s still objectification there’s no humanity, just appearance.

“Zoom Screenshots”

Yes, it’s exactly what it sounds like. Screenshots taken during online classes especially during lockdown or remote learning. Girls caught mid-expression, turning their camera on for a moment, or just existing. It’s not just creepy. It’s predatory and calculated.

“OnlyFans (LOL)”

A joke—meant to degrade. Usually filled with regular photos of girls, but labelled as if the girl is “selling herself.” It’s a way of mocking or shaming girls for how they look or dress online. This reinforces toxic thinking: “If she posts it, it’s public property.”

Initials or Nicknames (e.g., “KM Collection”, “JessSzn”)

The most subtle and the hardest to catch. These are individual galleries named after a specific girl, often using her initials, a nickname, or a coded name only the boy or his friends would recognise. It gives him deniability if questioned, but still lets him organise his content however he wants.